special needs woes

There’s so many things that I don’t understand.

Special Needs is one of them.

I haven’t shared much about this with many. Most, if i’m honest actually. I think I am embarrassed and utterly humbled by the fact that I am at my end with them…

In joining ICA, one of the hardest things about my time here in addition to the many many difficult things I face is my special needs students.I have a class of 25 six year olds. 13 girls 12 boys.. 6 of which my boys have a special need. 2 autistic, 2 adhd, one aspergers and one kleinfelter syndrome + some EAL girls.

It’s hard. I face the frustrations, questions and feelings of I AM NOT A SPECIAL NEEDS TEACHER. I am not trained. I didn’t want to be one. I dont know what to do. I can barely handle my other 19 students… WHY GOD? WHY? WHY would you give me this lot? It’s more than I can handle.

God reminds me that, “It’s not for you to handle. It’s for me to use you to embrace and love and learn to love these kids, like I do.”

Through these past 7 months at my school here in HK, I’ve learned a lot… but still have so far to go.
Pray for me if you remember.It’s a hard journey to be on… but great is His love for me and them.

For with Him, nothing is impossible. nothing.

My friend, ST, shared a book, The Reason I Jump, by Naoki Higashida, with me recently that has made my heart break. This Japanese teenage author, who has autistic tendencies shared very poignant and honest responses to his teacher’s questions.

One of my favourites thus far: Question 22.

  

may our hearts break for the things and people that break God’s heart more and more each day.