October 17, 2009
I think of y’all back at home, more often than I probably should. I have been in Shanghai for over 2 months now, and am still alive, only by His grace. I wish I could share with you all that has and is happening but I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Work has been incredibly demanding, exhausting, and stress-filled. In addition, there has been SO many things going on and not been much time to sit, reflect, and share.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your f8thful raps for me. I know I have not expressed to many of you how very difficult it has been for me here in Shanghai, and telling you through this email wouldn’t suffice. But apart from the struggle, there truly have been glimpses of His goodness, patience, and love. The simplicity of His love for me has a profound affect on how I live each day clinging to Him and His gr8ce.
I realize that though there are more often times that I want to call it quits and head home than be here. I believe I am here for a reason that I may not see or may not be clear. However, with the small amount of f8ith that I am clinging onto… I am still here. I survive each day, each moment, by His gr8ce. Though it does not feel like enough, his word promises that it is MORE than enough.
In the past few weeks, the demands, stresses, long hours, and the frustrations of work have made me question very seriously whether or not THIS is where he wants me to be or if it is to go home. Many here and at home have been rapping for clarity, direction, and discernment. I do know that I want to be where He wants me to be. I do not want to go home just because I am miserable here, but I also don’t want to go home because I feel trapped. During my QT, I felt Him say, “Christine, I love you. I am not going to give you clarity, but I love you so much I want you to chose where you want to be.” In that word I have received from him, I felt a great sense of peace and assurance that I could go home, if I wanted to. BUT at the same time, I felt free in being here too. For the first time in a long time, I have felt a freedom in his love to decide and to trust him whatever the decision may be. And so, I bought a red parka like down jacket for the shanghai winters, ensuring me that I will survive here. He really does love me… and if he didn’t prove that on calvary, he continues to prove it moment by moment as we live by, in, and through his gr8ce.
My folks and were able meet and blss many of my friends!
My time with my mommy until the end of the month!
Yuko came to SH!! Chris Gee is in SH! J (visitors = taste of home)
Friends here that have been supportive, encouraging, and prayerful!
Joined a new small group for growing and accountability
Part of the “travel association” to travel around and explore and enjoy all He has made (2nd trip to nanjing next weekend, then possibly shangdong, qing dao and Huang shan)
Some students are responding and improving
Receiving/fighting for more joy, slowly but surely!
Please continue to rap for…
Protection against evil one and his schemes/sp. attack for myself and other teachers at the school
Creativity, energy, strength in teaching/lesson planning/grading
Discernment on how to delegate work/responsibilities to TA
Freed from pressures and expectations (conscious or subconscious) from parents, other teachers, and administration
Submission and humility before those He has placed above me
Not to complain or argue in work
To prz and be joyful more than complain or in frustration
Friendships with brothers and sisters to deepen
Please share with me how you are doing. I think being here one of the greatest sacrifices is that I don’t have the privilege of calling you or knowing what he is doing in your life as well. so as we share may we be blssed to be a blssing… in our joys and struggles, he is to be pr8sed!
I miss you and love you all very much.
Safe in His everlasting arms,